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| mmmmm, vagina peas |
Healthy insurance kicked in again about a month ago, and so back I
went to the doctor, with the all-too-familiar-and-frequent symptoms of general vulvovaginal
discomfort. I've mentioned it a couple times in past posts, but just to be
clear: this has always been an issue for me, and something that despite various
precautions (probiotics, neutral PH and free-of-everything soaps and lotions and
laundry detergents, white or no underwear, restricted diet, etc.), I’ve
struggled with for many, many years. More so some years than others, and
sometimes it's BV, sometimes it's yeast, but pretty much without fail, my
vagina gets unhappy. Sometimes (like this last time) it’s to the point where
I'm itching and scratching in my sleep, sometimes when I'm awake, and sometimes
it's so bad that I have to sneak offstage and cry, etc. This tech, I actually
ended up jerry rigging a lady-parts ice pack (frozen peas and a double ziplock
with gaff tape around my underwear, in case you were wondering), because I
literally couldn't focus enough to do the show.
(trying to figure out if your production manager/stage manager/actors/director can tell if you're waddling/have frozen labia is... not the best for focusing either. But think in the end, it was better to have pea-ed and waddled, than to have never pea-ed at all).
At the doctor, they poked around like they usually do. And were
mystified as to how I had this again, like they usually are. I don't generally
have crazy discharge (which is common with yeast), and most doctors are
surprised when they do a culture, and it comes back positive.
But this time, things went a little differently. This time, my
doctor posited that maybe, possibly, there might be an underlying cause to all
this. That maybe, sure, my tests for yeast came back positive, but maybe it
wasn't the yeast causing these symptoms (candida can and does live in the
vagina, the butt, the mouth, etc., without causing any adverse side affects.
It's the growing out of control that causes problems).
She suggested, looking carefully at the skin, that it might be
something called Lichen Planus. It’s a strange experience, to be spread eagled
on a doctors table, nitril gloved fingers pressing gently on your vulva, and
hear a word who’s first connotation (for me, anyway) is silver bullets and wolf’s
bane. As it turns out, I think I might prefer a beasty moon-related transformation to what Lichen Planus actually
is.
She hands me a piece of paper as I'm leaving, telling me it’s not necessarily
LP and I need to see a specialist, but she suspects. And then I read it and
then I go home and then I google and google and google. There should be some
sort of mandatory blackout time on google image searches post doctor visits.
Caution: side affects of reading this handout may result in compulsive staring
at images of sick vaginas, and premature coming to terms with what may prove to
be a very grim fate indeed.
Lichen Planus is not a fun thing, and it's not a curable thing.
I'm pretty nervous about it, but doing my best to put those nerves in a little
box, because we really, really don't know anything yet. I haven't been tested,
and I haven't been to a specialist. It could be any number of things that are
a) not yeast, and b) also not Lichen Planus. But there’s a little part of me
that is… well, pretty scared right now.
On one level, it's nice to know that there might be an
underlying cause to all this, one that I can get accurate (and hopefully more affective) treatments for.
Although it’s all couched in knowing that the side affects are much, much worse
than if it were simply recurring (or not-ever-really-cured) yeast.
Here’s the part of the blog where I would list all the
side-affects of LP, how bad they could get, and what I'm worried about with each one.
But I’m not sure about anything yet, and in an effort not to hype myself up,
I’m going to let you google it yourself, if you really want to.
Caution: may cause moments of loss and premature, serious bummer.
<3
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