Just read a great interview on race play by Mollena Williams on her blog, The Perverted Negress (you can find it here). The topic has come up quite a bit on SRSKink lately, and I've gotta say, I haven't thought that much about it until now. That's probably because I'm a white cis lady, and... well, based on my identity, I'm not thinking about it in as obvious or prevalent a way as I imagine many kinky POC would be.
I really, really feel like I don't have a place to talk about from, and maybe that's okay. The best I can do when presented with a viewpoint that I don't have direct, personal experience with, is read, read, read. A lot. Read a lot of stuff about it, and try to listen a lot. I have some initial ideas about what I think about race play, but I really don't think it's my place to... offer that. I think being an ally, a lot of the time, means stepping back.
So, on this particular topic, I'm going to do that. Race play, for me, is off the table, unless it comes up in another way. Meaning, it's not an issue I want to shy away from, by any means, but I feel like it's not something I should bring up either. Sort of like not bringing up sexism and misogyny, say, spontaneously in a group of women. Maybe wait until it comes up on it's own, and if/when it does, maybe learn how to listen more, and talk less.
All that said, the interview is thoughtful and funny, and definitely worth the read (like I said, reading = learning = having more of a basis to understand = how to be an ally without putting the onus of teaching into those who experience). I also appreciate that Williams offers dissenting viewpoints to her own, on her blog, when they're also thoughtful and well-written.
(Which is more than I can say for the mods of /r/feminism on Reddit right now, but that's neither here nor there).
And so, leave you with a few teasers, here are my favorite lines out of the Williams interview (but seriously, go read it for yourself; it's worth it)
Those two things, in conjunction, are all I really wanna do. Have sexy dirty fucked up sex, and then think about it a lot. Here's to kinkynerdsex, and all it's fucked up thinker participants. Fuckin' Aye Right.
I really, really feel like I don't have a place to talk about from, and maybe that's okay. The best I can do when presented with a viewpoint that I don't have direct, personal experience with, is read, read, read. A lot. Read a lot of stuff about it, and try to listen a lot. I have some initial ideas about what I think about race play, but I really don't think it's my place to... offer that. I think being an ally, a lot of the time, means stepping back.
So, on this particular topic, I'm going to do that. Race play, for me, is off the table, unless it comes up in another way. Meaning, it's not an issue I want to shy away from, by any means, but I feel like it's not something I should bring up either. Sort of like not bringing up sexism and misogyny, say, spontaneously in a group of women. Maybe wait until it comes up on it's own, and if/when it does, maybe learn how to listen more, and talk less.
All that said, the interview is thoughtful and funny, and definitely worth the read (like I said, reading = learning = having more of a basis to understand = how to be an ally without putting the onus of teaching into those who experience). I also appreciate that Williams offers dissenting viewpoints to her own, on her blog, when they're also thoughtful and well-written.
(Which is more than I can say for the mods of /r/feminism on Reddit right now, but that's neither here nor there).
And so, leave you with a few teasers, here are my favorite lines out of the Williams interview (but seriously, go read it for yourself; it's worth it)
"I'm saying that, if this intrigues you, think about why. And I am saying if it repulses you, think about why."
"Sex is sexy. It is also sometimes fucked up. And that is also sexy."
Those two things, in conjunction, are all I really wanna do. Have sexy dirty fucked up sex, and then think about it a lot. Here's to kinkynerdsex, and all it's fucked up thinker participants. Fuckin' Aye Right.
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